Ann Girling - The Fulfilment Coach

I want to tell you a story about a woman. This woman fulfilled her ambition and trained to be a children’s nurse after she left school. What she didn’t know then was that nurses were fantastic at looking after other people and not so good at looking after themselves. But this woman always felt that she was invincible.

A few years later another ambition was fulfilled, she had a beautiful baby daughter; but she was often very sad and tearful and what she didn’t appreciate then was that she had postnatal depression. She didn’t ask for help - she always coped.

Then the years went by and she longed for a second baby, but it didn’t happen until her daughter was 7. And then when she was 9 weeks pregnant she miscarried. She didn’t really grieve for many years. She threw herself into her home and then, as her daughter grew older, her career as a health visitor. She was invincible; she took on more and more and loved the challenges. She did a degree and then a masters and then CRASH! She fell off the hamster wheel that she had created for herself, was persuaded to go off sick by her boss and went to see her doctor. She was diagnosed with stress and depression and prescribed anti-depressants. She also started seeing a therapist.

But she picked herself up, dusted herself down and after 6 weeks went back to work. There was no phased return, no occupational health, just straight back in. Nothing had really changed. After 18 months she felt the symptoms returning but by now with the help of her therapist she had changed. She went to see her manager and said “I am going to go off sick and I’ll come back when I’m ready”.

That woman was me and that was a defining moment when I took charge of my life. I was 52 years old and decided to leave the NHS and set up my own business which has evolved into On The Threshold.

On the Threshold is a business that works with women who have been breast cancer patients or who have experienced the trauma of miscarriage, postnatal depression, involuntary childlessness and other conditions. It also works with women who have been through significant life events whish may include divorce or separation, redundancy, stress related illness. It brings together my twin passions for health visiting and coaching, which both strive to empower women. Through my own experience I can inspire other women to move forward and to make powerful choices in their lives.

I have come to value the difference women make to the world, no matter how little they are listened to, how their emotional needs can be ignored and how stigma can be attached to the illnesses or experiences they have suffered. I also see their caring and compassion, their fantastic leadership skills, how they manage home, family and work, and yet are not valued by our society. I also know how these experiences impact on their self esteem and confidence.

What my experience, training and values bring to my work is the value of authenticity, of seeing a woman for who she is, rather than being caught up in the illness. First and foremost she is a person, a woman, not a disease sufferer. I want to return the woman to the woman. I can work in a way that is authentically me and what I bring in that authenticity is someone who is caring and compassionate, down to earth with a sense of humour and fun.

I also bring my personal experience of miscarriage, secondary infertility and mental ill health. I know what it is like facing the stigma and getting back to work with people not sure what to say to you or how to treat you but through the support around me and courage within me I was able to move on to something more fulfilling. I also know that the presence of someone who does listen, who does empathise and who does provide both challenge and support, but is not close family or a friend, provides that added extra that really does make a difference.